Three most significant things you have learnt till date

Write down the three most significant things you have learnt till date.

I had to answer this question recently and I realized how different life experiences reflect on your views. I asked some of my friends this question and it was really interesting to hear what others had to say. Some said things that were relevant to them at that moment of time, some shared their long held beliefs. Knowingly or unknowingly they share something that defines them. You'll probably end up learning something about yourself as well.

So, now, I ask you to answer the same question. What are the three most significant things you have learnt till date? Make sure that you don't spend too much time thinking about it. Just list out down the top three things that you can think of. You can then elaborate on why you think you chose these.

By the way, here were my answers:

#1 Always listen to your heart. It'll lead you the right way.

Post under-graduation, I had offers from Infosys and TCS, two of the biggest IT companies in India. I joined Infosys based on the feedback I got from my seniors. Having excelled in their training program, they decided to place me in a department called LERN. Infosys was entering into the e-learning market, a $50 Billion industry, which is likely to double in size before 2015. They needed sharp folks who could translate technically challenging material into easy to understand workflows. One caveat though, the job did not require any coding, just using some tools. They pick their best programmers and put them in a department which needed zero programming skills. Ironic? Tell me about it. I obviously asked for a department change, but they said it couldn't be done for at least a year. Oh, and Infosys had made us sign a contract that would enforce a monetary fine in case I leave the company before completing a year. They were asking for more money than they had actually paid me till that time. Along with this, the HRs were using lots of legal jargon to make sure I did not leave. I did not know anybody who had left before completing a year, so I didn't know how to proceed ahead.

I knew one thing though. The few months spent there were depressing. The work life was mediocre. It was not challenging enough. It was not something I wanted to do. This in turn was taking a toll on my personal life as well. Misunderstandings, arguments… and the whole nine yards were getting regular with friends. After one of such days, I realized that no amount of money was worth this. I decided I had to leave right then. I didn't know what I was going to do next. I was ready to work for absolutely no salary at all. I just wanted to do some good work. With only the belief in my ability to make /something/ out of this situation, I decided to leave Infosys and join a startup (MIME360). This, obviously did not go down well with friends and family. I was leaving a stable job with a reputed IT giant to work in a company incubating in college with 6 employees. Startups weren't a big deal in India back then (still aren't, but things are changing fast) so it was difficult to explain to people the rationale behind the move. I stuck to my decision, sorted out my priorities and was ready to face whatever came next. Eventually, Flipkart.com, the biggest eCommerce company in India, acquired MIME360 to build its digital arm. And I've never looked back since.

Considering we spend one third of our life working, make sure you love what you're doing.

#2 Hard work beats Talent when talent doesn't work hard.

At Flipkart, I got the opportunity to work with some of the best brains in the country. I was surrounded by people from premier institutions like IIT, BITS, NIT, IIIT, etc., while I was from a simple college from a simple university. I had heard a lot of hype about performance levels of individuals from these colleges. I realize that's exactly what it was. Pure hype. So you were a topper of Computer Science department? Congrats! This might help you get into the company, however, this matters very little in real life. Most of the challenges we face are new so, past laurels don't matter much. What matters is how much effort you can put into a task and your ability to get things done. You have to constantly keep learning and keep up with technology. If you love what you do and work with dedication, you'll never stop growing, both personally and professionally. And soon, people will recognize and respect what you add to the team, regardless of your background.

#3 Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.

This might be a little personal but it resonates with me very strongly. Like everybody, I've seen lots of ups and downs in my life (Yes, I also realize, at 25, I've not seen anything yet). But what has worked for me is I tend to stick with problems longer. If you want things to work out, sometimes you'll have to give it time. Healing doesn't take a day. It takes a lot of little steps to get back. Eventually everything falls into place. It might not be how you pictured it, it might not even work in your favor, but over the long run, you'll realize that it's actually better this way. In the end, it's about patience, perseverance and persistence. Do not give up.

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Update : I asked the same question on HN. Here are some gems from that post in no particular order:

• Don't be too hard on yourselves. You tend to make mistakes, and there is no way to become better without making them. Put the past behind and move on. Easier said than done, though.
• Failure is the default state of any venture. Give your best to succeed, but remember that you're starting from failure. This way, you learn to handle the lows associated with failures better.
• Focus on the process as much as on the results. The idea is to master the process that's expected to return results so that you can keep using it to succeed at various things.
• Opportunity Cost: Everything has a cost. Everything. At a minimum, it is the foregone time you could have invested into other activities rather than the thing that you've chosen to invest time in. Even if you had unlimited funds, you still have to chose what to do with your time, and that's frighteningly finite. Realize, therefore, that you are always giving up something, and choosing to be weak in one area in return for being strong in another. No one is good at everything. No one has it all.
• Labor-elasticity relative to wages/money can be negative, and that's ok. For those not keyed in on economic mumbo-jumbo, that simply means that having more money can result in people choosing to work less. First year economics people (and i'm assuming many young, and HN-types) assume that everyone will do more work for more money. But money is not the point, and unless you're neurotic and insecure (and most people who chase money are), there comes a time when you realize that maybe now that you've got money, you can instead use it on the things that really matter rather than trying to get more of it. And work, on the whole, is not the shit that matters...
• Be humble and self-critical. Humble to realize how fallible and pathetically human you are, so that you don't beat yourself or others up too much, and how much luck had to do with any success that comes your way, and how much it has to do with a great deal of suffering that comes the way of others. Self-critical so you can deal with, improve upon and compensate for the flaws you realize you have.
• Spend more money on experiences and less on things.
• Don't dread potentially poor outcomes because they are never as bad as they seem.
• Competence, confidence, and efficiency go a long way.
• Think bigger. Work on ambitious projects. You become what you spend your time on. And big visions attract money and talent. Think bigger.
• Life is short, so make sure you'll have no regrets when you die
• Whether you think you can or can't, you're right
• Foolish decisions are often the ones you regret the less
• Work hard. Be strong. Don't complain.